October 17, 2013
"For no one is abandoned by the lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow." Lamentations 3: 31-33 (NLT)
It is with a very heavy heart that I write these words today. The last 36 hours have been some of the most heartbreaking that Kevin and I have experienced in a very long time. It is with great sadness that I tell you that we will not be adopting Pippa. This is not a decision that we made, but one that Pippa has made.
I received a phone call yesterday that our facilitator in Eastern Europe went to visit her orphanage to help arrange the medical testing that I wrote about in our last post (which was an answer to prayer). He was also able to talk with the children and learned from Pippa that she did not wish to be adopted because she has some family members that come to visit her and she does not want to be "taken away" from them. If I was her, I wouldn't either. However, this was still very shocking and unexpected news. We had heard that there were some of the girls that were unsure, we just didn't think Pippa would be one of them. Unfortunately, Pippa was not the only one to make such a decision and there are two other families that are experiencing this same heartbreak.
If you have been following our adoption journey for the last 11 Months (I can't believe it has been that long already!) you know this is not the first time we have "lost" the child we were hoping to bring into our family. On the day after Christmas 2012, Sydney, was locked behind the doors of the Adoption Ban put in place by Mr. Putin. As I've said before, "Adoption is costly, my friends..." I just didn't know it was going to cost me two pieces of my heart.
Needless to say, we are grieving this loss and are heartbroken, but I cannot tell you how much I have felt the love and prayers of friends and family that we told yesterday. The "peace that exceeds understanding" (Phillipians 4:7) had been present today and it has been such a blessing. I have also been thinking about how much God, Jehovah, has been with us throughout this journey and about all the names of God and how true they are for me, especially today. So I thought I would share them with you along with the song that has been in my heart today, "In the Presence of Jehovah"
Eight Redemptive Names of God
"The Lord our provider" - (Gen. 22:14).
"Our banner, a banner of love and protection" (Ex. 17:15).
"Our perfect peace" (Judges 6:24)
"The Lord is our righteousness" - (Jeremiah 23:6) (Jeremiah 33:16).
"The One Who is with us everywhere for He is Omnipresent" - (Ezekiel 48:35 ) (Isaiah 60:19-20 and Revelation 21:3)
"The Lord of Hosts, our Protector." C.H. Spurgeon said this about the phrase "The Lord of Hosts:
The Lord rules the angels, the stars, the elements, and all the hosts of Heaven; and the Heaven of heavens is under His sway... [the Lord] is on our side -- our august Ally; woe unto those who fight against Him, for they shall flee like smoke before the wind when He gives the word to scatter them."
See text at Psalm 46:7.
"Our Shepherd Who tenderly leads us, loves us and will keep us safe." - the famous Psalm 23 tells us that "The Lord is our Shepherd and we shall not want...." Being illustrated as a shepherd implies a relationship with His sheep (His believers). The term shepherd appears approximately 80 times in the Scriptures, denotating meanings of: feeder, keeper, companion, friend, pastor and herdsman.
"I am the Lord Your Physician or I am the Lord Your Healer - this name especially was a Name God prophetically spoke about Himself, not one that someone gave Him. Exodus 15:26.
Holman Bible Dictionary and the book All the Divine Names And Titles In The Bible by Herbert Lockyer used as source for certain material.
"This is my command-be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 (NLT)
I ask you to continue lifting all of us (Kevin and I, our other adoptive friends, and all of our girls) up in prayer. A friend of mine, Joe Arnold, posted this on his Facebook status today and it really hit home,
"The #1 plague that spreads throughout society isn't a virus or cancer, it is the disease of discouragement. Satan would like nothing better than to have you give up on doing God's work because of discouragement from outside and/or inside influences. Nehamiah faces it and overcomes it and our challenge is to follow his example."
The enemy would love nothing more than for us to be discouraged and give up on loving and caring for orphans. We will always love Pippa, she will be in our hearts and minds forever, and we pray that someday she will come to know the Lord and that her family will be there for her when the day comes that she ages out of the orphanage. We pray that she does not fall prey to the statistics I wrote about a couple of months ago.
We do not know yet exactly what is around this curve in our path, but God does, and this truly is His path that we are walking; because there is no way we could do it on our own!
I do know that we are very close to having our Dossier completed and we will keep moving forward even though we don't know exactly "who" is up ahead waiting for us. Waiting, waiting for us to be their Mom and Dad and to be our son and/or daughter. We are coming! Whoever you are, we are coming!!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)